April 12, 2007 Bling Diplomacy
From my in-the-know friend, Eli: Rapper [50-Cent][shorty] made an appearance at the U.S. Embassy in Angola, for a March AIDS awareness event.
Here’s the notice the embassy sent to its staff (note the passive-aggressive prodding at the end):
> All Embassy staff are invited to bring their children to the Embassy this Friday morning (tomorrow, March 23) at 9:30 a.m. for an event on HIV and AIDS awareness which American musician Fifty Cent will attend. Local Angolan artists will perform raps about AIDS awareness. The event is appropriate for children who are at least 11 years of age. Please arrive at the event promptly–all Embassy staff should plan to attend.
But wait, the story gets better. From a followup email from a government staffer:
> According to people in my agency who attended this event, he didn’t rap but after meeting our Ambassador he urged the kids “Have sex, have lots of sex, but have safe sex!” and then exited by having his bouncers throw $100 bills in the crowd… No kidding–one Embassy maintenance worker scored two of them.
[shorty]: http://www.50cent.com/ “50 Cent’s official website”
I’m speechless, but Eli thinks this could be the future of diplomatic behaviour. But just what to call it? Eli suggests either “ghetto statecraft” or “bling diplomacy.” What do you think, do the names have sticking power?
**Update [April 12]: 50-Cent’s appearance was at the U.S. Embassy in Angola, not the Angolan Embassy in Washingon, as previously stated.**
In other news…
Mike Jones has secured a written decree from Kim Jong Il stating that the DKPR will henceforth dismantle all of its nuclear weapons and seek reintegration with the South. Asked how he achieved it, Mr. Jones replied, “Mike Jones…Mike Jones.” Later that day, Mr. Il promised to step down as dictator to pursue “creative interests.” According to DKPR military personnel, one condition of the deal was a record deal which is to result in a duo album featuring Kim Jong Il himself and Little John. Quincy Jones has suggested that the title track will be called “Feelin’ ill with il “.
The Bush administration responded by condemning the irregular action, sending its new top negotiator, Snoop Dog, to Seoul to thwart the initiative. His influence was evident at a press conference in which UN Secretary General Ban Kai Moon told reporters, “This business is straight dirty, y’all…Mike Jones been droppin’ standards in the six party tizzies…we representin’ South K, baby, love…HOLLA, now….dolla’ dolla billz, y’all.” His staff could not be reached for comment.
No way! Is this what 50c thinks the world needs? Cash thrown into crowds? Damn!
FYI - this story just picked up by Wonkette!
It’s DPRK.